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Queen B

Status: Offline
Posts: 54
craigslist ad

Posted to Craig's List Person als:

To The Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Savannah)

Reply to: 982078099
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

I was the guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded
I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.  I hope you
somehow come across this message.  I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you
took my jacket.  Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that
evening, and it wasn't that cold outside  You see, my girlfriend had
just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we
had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening.  Beautiful
pistol, eh?  It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head,
isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever
you had come from with the brown sludge flopping about in your
pants.  I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving
your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me.  I couldn't have you
calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.
I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had
her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation.  I also
bought myself some gas on your card.  I gave your shoes to one of
the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the
cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell.  They'll be
on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones.  Alltel recently
shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day
now, so I don't know what's going on with that.  I hope they haven't
permanently cut off your service.  I was about to make some very
threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it.  Oh well.......

So, about your pants.  I know that I was a little rough on you when
you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up
to you.  I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help
you out.  I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the
pants.  What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder?  I'd also
like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back
home humiliated.

I'm hoping that you will reconsider your choice of path in life.  Next
time you might not be so lucky.  If you read this message, e-mail me
and we'll do lunch and laundry.  Peace!


07 outty 6" CATVOS lined lawed tuned piped snokeled radiator relocated

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